Scammers Are So Much Fun!
I miss the old days of funny spam. Perhaps you do too. I mean the emails where people would claim to be a time traveler seeking revenge on an old girl/boyfriend and looking for red, green, and blue moon crystals.
At one time I had all those emails saved in a manila folder. Unfortunately, over the years that folder got lost. Now all I have are memories of better spam days.
This evening, in my Yahoo spam folder, I came across an email claiming that I was dead and had granted someone power of attorney to receive “part payment of $5.5m USD,” unless I provided certain information.
Yeah, right.
After that, I received ANOTHER email saying that I’d get $7.9 Mn.
One would think that these morons would eventually learn to stop pestering me.
Here are the emails, along with my replies. Hope you enjoy them. Perhaps you’ll come up with ideas of your own to use against scammers…
Email 1 (supposedly from HSBC):
— On Fri, 10/23/09, HSBC BANK PLC LONDON wrote:
From: HSBC BANK PLC LONDON
Subject: NOTIFICATION OF YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND!!!!
To:
Date: Friday, October 23, 2009, 10:22 AM
HSBC BANK PLC LONDON.(REGISTERED NO.1026167).
ADDRESS: 8 CANADA SQUARE LONDON , E14 5HQ ,
UNITED KINGDOM.
Chairman Committee On Foreign Contract And Inheritance fund Payment Notification
FROM:HSBC BANK PLC LONDON.
Attn: Beneficiary,
The U.S.A Government, World Bank And United Nations Organization Official Has approved to pay you part payment of your Contract/Inheritance Fund payment Valued at $5.5m USD in conjunction with British Government and HSBC BANK PLC LONDON.
This International Remittance Department(HSBC BANK PLC LONDON) was set up to discover an outstanding unpaid fund being owned to Governments or Individuals all over the world through Contract Payment, Inheritance and Lottery Winning Prize Awards.
However, decision was made last week. With this development, a woman by name (MRS:JANET WHITE) came to our office with an application stating that you gave her the power of attorney to be the beneficiary of your Outstanding Contract/Inheritance/award funds. She made us to believe that you are dead and that she is your next of kin. We got your email address and decided to send an email through this address hoping to find out if you are dead or alive and also to find out if you at any time gave this woman the power of attorney to represent you.
Please let us know also if you are aware that we are almost ready to transfer part payment of $5.5m USD of your outstanding funds to her nominated bank account stated below:
NAME OF BANK: FIRST NATIONAL BANK
ADDR: 120 SO. 2nd. ST.
BLYTHEVILLE,ARKANSAS 72315 USA
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 482986
ROUTING NUMBER:084107343
Swift code # : WMSBUS66
BENEFICIARY: JANET WHITE
If you are not aware of the above instruction, do respond
to this email immediately by contacting the Chairman of the International Remittance Department (Mr.Douglas Flint)
His contact information are written below:
Name:Mr.Douglas Flint.
Direct Telephone Number:+44-70-45703001
Fax Number:+44-870-9741509
Email:intl_remittance2009@yahoo.com.hk
Email:remittance_office2009@email.dj
For immediate transfer of your funds be informed that you are not allowed to correspond or contact any person or office with respect to this transfer other than this office, you are required to send to him an email with your full following information below:
1) YOUR FULL NAME__________________
2) RESIDENCE ADDRESS, CITY, STATE AND COUNTRY_______________________
3) PERSONAL CELL PHONE, FAX AND MOBILE PHONE
NUMBER_________________________
Yours Sincerely,
Mr. Alex Hungate.
HSBC BANK PLC LONDON.
My reply to the “HSBC” email:
Dear Sir,
Thank you for contacting me regarding this issue. Please accept my apology, however. I must pass on your kind offer of acting as mediary. The amount of funds in question is simply too small to warrant any further consideration on my part.
If you feel the need to discuss this matter in detail, please contact me at my office.
Sincerely,
B. Keaton
4400 Lincoln Ave
Evansville, IN 47714-0651
Tel: (812) 477-8888
Fax: (812) 473-7736
Ok, a bit of explanation is called for here. My name is NOT “B. Keaton,” as in Buster Keaton. The address and telephone numbers shown are real, but again are not mine. Rather, this is the contact information for Dial-A-Prayer in Evansville, Indiana.
I like using Dial-A-Prayer contact info for stuff like this…
About an hour or so later I received a reply. Yes, these bozos will reply to your letters, so have fun!
“HSBC” email reply:
— On Tue, 10/27/09, Hsbc London Payment Department Uk wrote:
From: Hsbc London Payment Department Uk
Subject: Our Ref: HSBC-0XX2/482/08
To: DELETED
Date: Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 1:38 AM
HSBC BANK LONDON . (REGISTERED NO.1026167).
ADDRESS: 8 CANADA SQUARE LONDON , E14 5HQ ,
UNITED KINGDOM.
DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER:+44-70-4-570-3001
FAX NUMBER:+44-870-9741509
Our Ref: HSBC-0XX2/482/08
ATTN:B. KEATON,
RE: YOUR UNCLAIMED FUND
WE RECEIVED YOUR EMAIL.AND WE APPRECIATE YOUR QUICK RESPONSE TO THIS OFFICE AND WE ADVICE YOU KEEP IT UP BECAUSE THIS WILL HELP US ACHIEVE SMOOTH TRANSFER OF YOUR FUNDS TO YOU.IT IS OUR HUMBLE OBLIGATION TO WRITE TO YOU THIS LETTER IN REGARDS TO THE AUTHORIZATION OF YOUR OWED PAYMENT THROUGH OUR MOST RESPECTED FINANCIAL INSTITUTION (HSBC BANK PLC). I MR. DOUGLAS FLINT, THE DIRECTOR, FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT, HSBC BANK PLC, LONDON. THE BRITISH GOVERNMENT, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE US GOVERNMENT, WORLD BANK, UNITED NATIONS ORGANIZATION ON FOREIGN PAYMENT MATTERS,HAS EMPOWERED MY BANK AFTER MUCH CONSULTATION AND CONSIDERATION,TO HANDLE ALL FOREIGN PAYMENTS AND LOTTERY WINNING PRIZE AWARD RELEASE THEM TO THEIR APPROPRIATE BENEFICIARIES WITH THE HELP OF OUR TWO HSBC BANK OFFICIALS .
A BANK CERTIFIED CASHIERS CHECK OF US$5.5 MILLION WILL BE RAISE IN YOUR NAME THROUGH OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN AMERICA (BANK OF AMERICA),FOR IMMEDIATE DEPOSITING INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND NO ONE HAS THE JURISDICTION TO REMOVE OR DEDUCT ANY AMOUNT OF MONEY FROM A BANK CERTIFIED CASHIERS CHECK THAT WILL BE RAISE IN YOUR FAVOR FOR PAYMENT.
TWO HSBC BANK OFFICIALS WILL TRAVEL TO MEET WITH YOU IN YOUR STATE WITH A BANK CERTIFIED CASHIERS CHECK OF US$5.5 MILLION THAT AS TO BE RAISE IN YOUR NAME BY BANK OF AMERICA IN ATLANTA GEORGIA AND GO TO YOUR BANK WITH YOU FOR THE DEPOSIT OF THE FUND. WHEN THEY ARRIVE IN YOUR STATE YOU WILL TAKE THEM TO YOUR BANK FOR THE DEPOSIT OF THE BANK CERTIFIED CASHIERS CHECK OF US$5.5 MILLION INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT AND THEY WILL BE WITH YOU FOR FIVE (5) BANKING WORKING DAYS FOR THE FUND TO BE CLEARED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT BEFORE COMING BACK TO LONDON .
THIS IS BECAUSE OF THE PROBLEM WE ARE HAVING FOR SOME TIME NOW WHEREBY CUSTOMERS FUND HAS BEEN DIVERTED TO ANOTHER BANK ACCOUNT WITHOUT THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE BENEFICIARY.
KINDLY RE-CONFIRM THE REQUESTED INFORMATION STATED BELOW EITHER VIA FAX OR EMAIL TO ENABLE THE DEPOSITING OF YOUR FUNDS INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT IN USA.
1)COPY OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVER’S LICENSE FOR THE ENDORSEMENT/ LEGALISATION OF THE BANK LEGAL DOCUMENT AND FOR PROPER IDENTIFICATION WHEN THE OFFICIALS ARRIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY.
2) YOUR PRIVATE PHONE AND MOBILE/ FAX NUMBER:
3) YOUR FULL NAME AND RESIDENTIAL HOME ADDRESS :
FOLLOWING THE RECEIPT OF THE ABOVE INFORMATION EITHER BY EMAIL OR FAX, THE FLIGHT SCHEDULE OF THE TWO HSBC BANK OFFICIALS THAT ARE COMING FOR THE DEPOSIT OF THE FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT WILL BE SEND TO YOU WHICH INCLUDE THEIR TIME OF ARRIVAL AND NAME OF AIRLINE FOR THE PURPOSE OF EASY IDENTIFICATION AT THE AIRPORT WHEN THEY ARRIVE. WE WANT YOU TO SEND THE NAME OF THE AIRPORT WHERE YOU WANT THE BANK OFFICIALS TO ARRIVE, SO THAT YOU CAN MEET WITH THEM AT THE AIRPORT AND TAKE THEM TO YOUR BANK. AND COPY OF THE BANK CERTIFIED CASHIERS CHECK THAT WILL BE RAISE IN YOUR NAME FOR PAYMENT BY OUR CORRESPONDING BANK IN ATLANTA GEORGIA (BANK OF AMERICA) INCLUDING THE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OF THE TWO BANK OFFICIALS WILL BE SEND TO YOU AS WELL FOR YOUR PERUSAL BEFORE THE OFFICIALS WILL PROCEED TO YOUR STAT E FOR EASY IDENTIFICATION AT THE AIRPORT WHEN THEY ARRIVE.
WE FURTHER ADVICE THAT YOU STOP ALL COMMUNICATIONS OR CORRESPONDENCE OUTSIDE THIS OFFICE REGARDING THIS TRANSFER TO ENABLE SWIFT PROCESSING AND TRANSFER OF YOUR FUNDS. AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THE ABOVE INFORMATION FROM YOU, WE WILL COMMENCE PROCESS OF TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION PLEASE DON’T HESITATE TO GIVE US A CALL ON OUR DIRECT TELEPHONE NUMBER STATED ABOVE OR DO SEND US AN E-MAIL.
TREAT AS URGENT.
YOURS SINCERELY,
MR. DOUGLAS FLINT.
DIRECTOR INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT (HSBC BANK PLC, LONDON).
Since I was having such a great time, I replied with the following:
Dear Sir,
As you are no doubt aware, it is very common in this age to encounter persons attempting to gain access to another’s personal information with the willful intent to cause harm to said person’s reputation and/or finances.
Since you are requesting this information via email, instead of more generally accepted means of communication, I ask that you provide verifiable proof of who you are. In this case, acceptable proof is exactly the same information you would have me provide.
Sincerely,
B. Keaton
I have yet to receive a reply…
South African email regarding $7.9 Mn USD:
— On Tue, 10/27/09, FOREIGN PAYMENT PROCESSING OFFICE wrote:
From: FOREIGN PAYMENT PROCESSING OFFICE
Subject: URGENTLY CONFIRM YOUR PAYMENT
To:
Date: Tuesday, October 27, 2009, 12:26 AM
Republic Of South Africa,
Foreign Payments (Contract/Inheritance dept)
African Foreign Dept Servicing Committee
From the desk of: Mr. James Okwe
Director of Payments.
Attn: Beneficiary.
This is to officially notify you that your delayed contract/Lottery/Inheritance payment has finally been approved to be paid to you within the next 48 hours. This instruction came to our office to contact you immediately for the transfer of your approved amount to your designated bank account without any further delay.
This office oversees and approves all foreign payments coming out from Europe, Africa, Asia and sometimes USA. Our job is to make sure that beneficiary’s funds are remitted to them within 48 hours once they have completed the requirements via our approved banks.
Just few hours ago, a man by name Mr. Tim Mallett contacted
our office informing us that you have given him instruction
and authority to receive the approved US$7,900,000.00 (Seven Million Nine Hundred Thousand US Dollars) only on your behalf. According to him, he said that you asked him to represent you in receiving this amount also he forwarded an account where your funds should be transferred to immediately.
Here is the information he forwarded to us for your own
confirmation:
Tim Mallett
G&T Volunteers
370 Lacroix Street
Chatham, Ontario Canada
N7M 2W3
TD Canada Trust
255 King Street at 3rd
Chatham, Ontario Canada N7M 1E6
Account# 0011-6243094
Transit & Branch # 060-00112-004
We want you to confirm to us immediately if you at any time
instructed the above person to receive this amount on your
behalf and if no, you are requested to immediately reconfirm your own details for immediate transfer of the above sum to your account.
Your Full name………………..
Full address………………….
Tel & Fax No…………………..
Bank name…………………….
Address………………………
Tel & Fax No………………..
Routing No…………………..
Account No…………………
Upon receipt of your confirmation, we shall immediately process your payment documents and forward it to our approved paying Bank to carry out your transfer within the next 48 hours after processing. If you sent this man, do reconfirm also to enable us process the payment and carry out transfer to him without any further delay.
We will appreciate your urgent response and confirmation as
this office has been given until two weeks to carry out all
approved payments or return them as unclaimed payment. Note
that the earlier you respond to this message, the better as
all modalities have been put in place for immediate transfer of the above sum to your account
Thanking you for letting us serve you better.
Yours faithfully,
Mr. James Okwe
Director of Foreign Payments
South Africa Foreign Payment Center
Since this was a slightly different email form than before, I decided to change things up a bit. Here’s my reply:
Dear Sir,
Only $7.9Mn? That’s half of what I can win in the Powerball Lottery without giving my personal information. I also do not have to pay state or local tax on Powerball winnings, like I would have to do on the $7.9Mn.
Surely you can do better!
Sincerely,
B. Keaton
I do not expect a reply to this other than the argument that it is still a lot of money, even if I had to pay tax.
